Healing and More

We drove to the far side of Hebron, deep into the southwest sector of the West Bank, an area where extremists on both sides make their home. The Jewish settlements are outposts and Hamas has many members in the region. We visited an Israeli Jew from America- an artist, a hippie from the 60s, a recent widow. She lived in a small home on the edge of the settlement with a view of a military base and a big security fence. She spoke about using her art for healing work, to make the world a better place, to bring people together through art.

She told stories about near misses for her family where they had been exposed to suicide bombers and could have been killed. She spoke about the tension of life in Israel, a constant cloud of concern and fear. She told us that it was almost a vacation, almost like relief, to be with her daughter in a cancer treatment center in the middle of winter in New England, just to have a break from Israel! But it is her home, she loves it, she has family here, and it is the best place to do her art. She moved to the settlement originally for cheap housing, not for ideological reasons. She travels the long road to Jerusalem frequently to visit her family. She used to wear a bulletproof vest. She won’t stop at the wonderful fruit stands for fear of a bombing. We listened and listened as she shared her biggest grief, the loss of her husband and partner to cancer. www.judithmargolis.com

We went to Hope Flower’s School in the morning and what an inspiring uplifting experience. It was started years ago by a man who became a close friend of the Earth Steward’s Network, an organization based in Bainbridge Island. The school is dedicated to the educating kids about peace. They have developed a peace curriculum, which they are finding ways to share with other schools around the world. Ibrahim, the son, now directs the school, along with his sister. A soft-spoken man trained as an engineer in Holland- that he spent a year in an Israeli prison seems such an absurdity as he is so obviously so sweet and gentle. The school works with whole families as well as with children and also does outreach in the community. At this time they have about 300 students, Muslims, Christians and other faiths, and they hope someday to include Jewish students. They focus on teaching the many aspects of peace building, so needed in this society. We left feeling so hopeful and inspired, in awe of the dedication of the directors and staff. Visit their website: www.hopeflowersschool.org

Everywhere we go we leave donations and support as well as giving people the certainty that they are cared about, that their work is appreciated, and that there is support for them. I am spreading around the contributions that I received.

Our visit to Hebron was interesting. It is a place often in the news- there is ongoing conflict there. As a city it is more religious and conservative. Although firmly in the West Bank, there is a settlement of about 400 Jews in the center of the Old City and a big Israeli military presence. There are abandoned Arab homes in and around this Jewish sector. There are places that Palestinians are forbidden to go and other areas where a divider separates the road and the Palestinians must walk on one side. The checkpoint to get in and out of the Jewish sector was intense as we had our lovely Bonnie with us on her scooter. We had to break the scooter down into pieces and carry it through the turnstile. Then Bonnie came walking through with her canes- to our big cheers. Our own challenges are nothing compared with what the Palestinians face daily. Before leaving the Jewish sector we viewed the tomb of Abraham, a hugely important religious site to both Jews and Muslims. We went to the settler’s museum, commemorating the Jewish massacre of 1929. For ages Jews and Arabs had lived peacefully side-by-side as neighbors in Hebron. 60 Jews were killed in the terrible massacre and many wounded. The survivors were moved away. Jews did not return until Hebron was liberated (as it was described at the museum) in 1967. The reality of anti-Semitism is an ever present specter haunting the Jewish mentality, and affecting all of us.

There is no longer a sense of neighborliness. The remaining Arabs in the Jewish sector have built cages around their terraces to protect themselves from stones. Soldiers will kick open doors and come into the houses of Arabs living in the old city, threatening the inhabitants. We visited a family in their home, on the edge of the road that the settlers and military use, which is forbidden to Palestinian cars. The family owns the whole apartment building, maybe 6 stories tall. All the other tenants have fled, as there has been rock throwing and shooting into their apartments by the Israeli military. The army occupied the top floor to take advantage of the view over the entire city. They trashed it so totally, smashing everything and turning all the valuable possessions into rubble. It is riddled with bullet holes and broken glass and trash. My stomach turned. The elderly mom can’t bear to leave her home. Two of her daughters, a dentist and a teacher, and two grandchildren won’t leave her. And so they live on in a war zone. Her husband died of a broken heart. So sad!!!!

We all spent the night in groups of two, sleeping in Palestinian homes. What a wonderful experience! Everyone came back with stories to tell. My time was delightful. I was with young Cathy, 24, who is so sweet. The children of our family fell in love with her and we all hung out, played, danced and relaxed. The teenage girl watched Desperate Housewives and has learned excellent English from watching movies. It was so darn normal, just a family wanting a life. The Dad likes to watch CNN and was so loving to his kids, the wife so sweet and hospitable, and the children so intrigued with us. We really felt at home. The Dad had spent 10 years in jail, where he learned English, Hebrew and German, after which he started a family.

All these people, ordinary in so many ways, caught up in this conflict that has lasted for so many years… We woke up in the morning to the news of Obamas’s election. What joy! Everyone we have seen all day is excited. There is renewed hope. Yes, we can!!!!

Congratulations to us!!!! Perhaps we all have a future that we can look forward to.

We passed into the West Bank, finding our way through a crack in the wall, which is an almost entirely unbroken barrier between Bethlehem and the Jewish settlements and Jerusalem. Right outside our hotel in Bethlehem is the huge concrete wall covered with graffittti and wall art. Check points with long waits at the few passes in the wall make travel and movement very difficult for Palestinians. One man angrily told the story of the death of his father from heart failure due to not reaching the hospital in time because of a long delay at the checkpoints.

Meeting and listening to Palestinians here has touched places in the soul. We have met men of great heart, gentle manner, impeccable manners, and deep passion for their people. We also see huge cause for frustration and know there have been outbreaks of violence.

Nafiz Rifai s is a handsome, well built man of 50 with a full head of hair, a great sense of humor, and a face that reveals great strength. He is a lover of learning, is widely read, and has written 8 novels. He has an MA in rural development and works for the Palestinian Authority. He spoke about bringing training to the Palestinians working with Don Beck and Spiral Dynamics. It is work aimed at developing the full capacity of human beings, especially needed at this time in the world. He brought 700 Palestinians together for a workshop to be exposed to this work and to learn how to use minds instead of emotions to plan the development of Palestine, quite an achievement given the difficulties of travel.

He is a peace loving man. Of suicide bombing he said,” Tell them instead: Yes, we are not going to die, but we are going to extract death from our land” He was insightful and deeply visionary, keeping his sights set on the future.

He spoke of his past, telling stories of his time in prison and how the prison experience influences the Palestinian mentality. Out of 2 and a half million Palestinians in Gaza and the West Bank and another 200,000 inside Israel, 800,000 have been in jail for political reasons. The prisoners changed the prisons into Universities and places of learning, all the books forbidden by Israel can be found there. The prisoners released from jails spread a culture. There are about 12,000 in jail now and a rotating population keeps the number about the same. He shrugs off his experience. In committing to the future, he is also committing to forgiving the past.

Suleiman al Hamri, the Palestinian co-founder of Combatants for peace. He has a BA in psychology and social work and an MA in American studies. He is 44 now. When he was a teen in the 80’s he took part in the resistance, this was an honor, to fight for his people was considered brave and honorable. He threw stones and organized demonstrations and then was arrested. The year and half that he spent in jail for the first time was the worst period of his life. It was very severe punishment for a not very big crime. He spent three years in jail from six arrests. He studied extensively in jail and devoted himself to learning.

He told us his whole life story and it was about transformation. From a youth, coming from a family of resistance fighters, acting out in frustration, to a man who went through so much pain and loss but became committed to peace and knowledge. He renounced violence and spoke out against it. He began to meet with Israelis and discovered there were good people on the other side. Eventually, after deep soul searching, he met with former Israeli soldiers and refuseniks and founded a joint Israeli /Palestinian organization.

In 2006, Combatants for Peace hosted a gathering of 600 people in support of peace- a great day! Bereaved families and former fighters from both sides stood side by side for peace. He has since spoken all over the world on delegations to Europe and the USA. As a Palestinian he has been detained in the U S. He supports a 2 state solution to the conflict. After so much blood shed on both sides, a separation is needed. He really emphasized the role that the USA must play in the peace process and urged us to get involved in the political process. His family has suffered tremendously for the Palestinian cause and he is dedicating his life to the peace process. He said that the destiny of the Palestinian and Israeli people is tied together; they will live together or die together on this land. He had so much appreciation for our visit.

Suileiman is an amazing man, so gentle and so eloquent. It is impossible to listen to him and not feel reassured and at peace. One of our number told him it was like being with the founders of our nation back in time, the beginning of a nation, dedicated to a struggle for freedom and committed to the highest ideals. He is a leader and a man of great sincerity and great depth. His eyes are so warm and so loving. Google for his website- Combatants for Peace.

We visited a Palestinian refugee camp outside Bethlehem and were greeted with the warmest hospitality. Achmed, the director of services, met with us and shared his story. It was amazing, another man of peace who has been a prisoner off and on for a good part of his life. He remains committed to his people and did not express bitterness or anger. He spoke with love, passion, and vision about what he wanted to accomplish at the camp, also about the misery of life there. He feels that the world is guilty towards the Palestinian people and that the mistakes need to be corrected. He also feels that the image of Palestinians needs to change. That cannot continue to be seen as just terrorists but must be recognized as a people who want to live in peace. They are looking for dignity and for the rights enjoyed by other people in the world.

The camp was crowed place, a square kilometer filled with 9000 people living in poverty. There hospitality was great and their appreciation at having visitors immense. They feel invisible and neglected. They are disempowered in so many ways, living as an oppressed people. However, they have great spirit and a dedication to family and to education. We visited in a home where the parents had ten children and they were all educated, the older ones having completed university or graduate degrees. They were full of smiles and pleasure at the grandchildren. They hosted us so sweetly but shared that life in the camp was hard, not comfortable. Its pretty miserable with no meds, little health care, limited services and restricted movement. Still, the children are smiling and everyone is so glad to see us. There are frequent skirmishes with the Israeli army- stone throwing and tear gas and rubber bullets. Two watchtowers are right outside the borders. There is only one entrance, the other having been blocked off, and the Israelis can close the gate at any time.

When we went to leave, heading for our next meeting, the gate was closed and armed soldiers prevented us form leaving in our bus. We explained that we were American and eventually they opened the gate for us but it gave us a taste of what it would mean to be at the mercy of a greater force who could choose to inconvenience you or humiliate you just to punish you and to keep you oppressed.

The other side of that story is the fear of the Israeli soldiers that stone throwing can escalate. There is so much fear, so much hatred, so much history of violence. At the same time there are brilliant , open hearted people who have transcended their own experience and have come to a place of commitment to peace and forgiveness, a willingness to hear and see “the other.” Our work, as we travel in this delegation of compassionate listeners, do-gooders on a bus- is to listen and support and offer some attention to those voices that are longing to be heard. It is hard work. There is a lot of pain in this land. The inspiration comes form seeing those who face huge challenges and continue on with love and passion to work for a better future. Also one hopes, that by listening to anger and the underlying fears, they can be transformed. This act of listening is a blessing to both listener and those who are heard.

We took a long bus ride around East Jeruselum with a tour guide from Ir Amin, a political and educational organization which advocates for a stable and egalitarian city. Our guy was an Israeli Jew who had been in the Police force in Jeruselum, a solid balanced kind of guy who had warmth and humor. He spoke about the complicated situation in Jeruselum as we drove around the outskirts, stopping at view spots. Its open, dry country with rolling hills so you can see into the distance and we could look out at settlements, villages, the security wall and the towns in the west bank. Etan great explained the history and the various zones and their status. There are Israeli neighborhoods built on annexed land- land annexed through a legal process by the Israeli government since 1967. There are the boundaries of the green line from 1948 when East Jeruselum was the boundary with Jordanian occupied toerritiories. There is the land encompassed by the barrier (the security wall, the Apartheid wall, the envelope) which was built to encircle Israeli developed areas and to protect them, and which divides Palestinian built up areas from each other making travel and life for Palestinians a difficulty. There are the Israeli settlements protected by the Israeli army and built in the Israeli occupied territory of the West Bank. We drove through Palestinian villages and past the newer Israeli settlements. So many things became evident, such as the terrible economic disparity between the two cultures, the Arabs have no services like garbage, water, schools although they pay taxes to the municipality and are residents of Jeruselum,. The language of the conflict is subtle and important, how you name a thing reveals your attitudes and can be inflammatory and accusatory or can minimize and deny. Land and security are the issues. Our driver had a keen awareness of the needs and deprivation of the Arabs living in Israel but had a certainty that Israelis were entitled to build and occupy the land. His historical rendition represented a blindfolded view as he could not recognize that Arabs had been forced to leave their homes, which were later permanently occupied by Jewish refugees in the 1948 Was of Independence, but insisted that it was sort of a voluntary exodus.
We visited with Naomi Baum, PhD of the Trauma Center. She works a lot with victims of violence and had insights into Israeli physcology. She is appreciative of mandatory military service and sees a strong Israel as essential for the security and safety of Jews world wide.
Our evening listening session was with Dr. Al Qleibo, a cultural anthropologist. He is a loving, charming, and engaging, highly accoplished man. He spends a lot of time in the Palestinian villages of the West Bank, preserving history and stories of a fading culture. The shift from a land based peasant economy to a wage earning blue collar economy is irrevocably impacting the culture of the people. He spoke very lovingly of the simplicity of the people and how they just wanted to live their lives. He was obviously very wounded by the tragedy of the Israeli occupation and had a grim passion when he spoke about the need for the Israelis to apologize. The bomb really dropped when he talked about Jews and revealed a deep seated hatred and made sweeping generalizations. Our group, a good third Jewish, had to hold his pain and anguish as he spoke words which touched deep wounds and old fears in some people. The amazing thing about the process of Compassionate Listening is the transformation that was facilitated as we gave him the grace to vent, allowed him the space to deepen into his feelings, and really listened to him without argument or defensiveness. He softened and began to recognize the potential for some goodness.
I am in love with our group. They are accomplished, articulate, aware people with big hearts and generous spirits. We have had so much work to do since listening to Ali, recognizing our own triggers and unpacking the process of being triggered. One of our group is a woman who has lived in the states her whole life but whose father is a Palestinian refugee. She is such a blessing to us. She reminds us of the pain of her people, of the dispossessed and the unrecognized. And she does so with tears, self awareness, and great love. We are all becoming more and more aware of the sensitivities brought out by the conflict, the deep seated fears of the Jews, the pain of loss, the human tendency to avoid the other and diminish all pain but our own, the difficulty of accepting blame and our own shadow side. It is fascinating and compelling work. Our speakers don’t want to leave us. They recognize within us an audience who is willing to follow them to the depths of their dilemma and to offer appreciation for their brilliant core of humanity despite the ravages of the conflict.

A visit to the Holocaust museum deepened our understanding of the pain and fear which is so much a part of Jewish awareness. It was not that long ago. How did it happen? What is the nature of humanity that this occurred? What tremendous potential for cruelty lies within us? What work can we to do to eradicate the seeds of hatred and separation.

We met with Esther Golan in her home, a survivor of the Holocaust (via Kindertransport). Her story was so moving, she and her siblings escaped but her parents perished. She is ever grateful for Israel and the refuge that it provided.
Our evening session last night was a breath of fresh air. Leah Lublin lives in an Israeli settlement and she has the courage to host an interfaith and intercultural dialogue group in her home, inviting Palestinians to meet with her. She was filled with love and joy and spoke of her spirituality and closeness to God. She told us of her jouney from an Orthodox Jewish upbringing to a rightwing activism to a reform Jewish outlook and a comlete transformation. She now, unlike her niegbors, delights in contact with the Plastinians, would love to see a dissolution of borders, has no fear about granting the right Of Return, would love to see mixed neighborhoods and lots of social interaction across cultural boundaries. She has overwhelmed any fear with her great love and to be in her presence was to be in hopefulness. She has a blog: http://www.mepeace.org/profile/leahlublin
Peace,
Maria

First full day the delegation. It’s a training delegation- we are studying Compassionate Listening and learning in the fire. The next twelve days we will have many opportunities to listen to people on both sides of the conflict here.

Today was all about getting to know each other, having an intro to CL and then touring the old city of Jerusalem. The old city is amazing- narrow streets, old stones, Roman archways, small crowded shops, Arab music, jostling humanity, smells of spices and coffee. The Western Wall and the Jewish quarter were imposing. Old old architecture dating back so far with so many periods- cycles of destruction and being rebuilt, layer upon layer. Jerusalem was invaded 20 times. So many temples and holy sites, the conjunction of religions, so much concentrated into such a small area, the old city is a square half-mile. It is a distinct world, ethnically diverse, filled with humanity and history, so much ritual, so many icons, so much that is sacred. The history of the Jewish people here is fascinating.

The Church of the Holy Sepulcher is amazing. I somehow never considered that it be something I would actually see- the actual site where Christ died on the cross, the station where he was anointed, the place of his tomb. Learning about those things when I grew up, they somehow seemed so far back in time, almost lost, like a legend. Yet here are the sites, preserved, commemorated, visited, adored, and adorned with art and ritual. We wandered and looked and learned until late, came home through a downpour with rivers of water flowing across the old stone, stepping up and down the curbs and cobbles, weaving in and out of the crowds and following the convoluted turns of the alleys and narrow pathways. The hotel was a welcome respite.

There are a few disabled people on our trip- two on scooters, one almost blind. It adds a richness and depth to our journey, an awareness of what it takes for some people to get around, something we normally don’t have to think about. I spent the afternoon hand in hand with Linda who uses a white cane and doesn’t see well. It was wonderful, dodging obstacles, trying to miss the biggest puddles, pointing out what I was seeing.

This is all a gift and I am so grateful. To be in community with others who are dedicated to learning, understanding, and experiencing deeply- it is so rich.

The evening was a listening session with two men from the Bereaved Families Forum, an Israeli Jew and a Palestinian man from a village near Nablus. They came together and they call each other brother. They each spoke about their lives, and the transformative event of losing a child to the violence of the conflict. Both used the pain of the loss to burn through some inner resistance, to connect with the humanity of others who have had loss and both now are dedicated to working for peace.

“What are you going to do now with this unbearable burden? There are two choices- the way of revenge, but would killing someone else bring her back? Would causing pain to someone else ease yours? No The second path is harder, trying to understand how someone could become so angry , and asking what can you do personally to prevent this kind of anger.” Inspiring, painful, hopeful. We sat with tears, sharing their pain. They do lots of outreach, they have given 1000 talks. Meeting with groups along the full political spectrum. They reach people because the depth of their pain is so authentic. Rami characterized his work: “Banging our heads against the wall of hatred which divides our people. We put cracks in the wall and eventually will bring it down, because the alternative is too horrible. Pain has a lot of power and we use it to bring hope.”

Their organization is effective and well worth supporting: http://www.theparentscircle.org/

Preparing for this Compassionate Listening Delegation to Israel/Palestine has been amazing, to say the least.  I have been so moved by the outpouring of support, well wishes, and financial contributions!  It is due to so much encouragement by so many, that I am setting off in high spirits and with a lot of anticipation.  It’s not clear exactly what I am anticipating- life mostly, full rich life with all its contradictions and dilemmas. There is also the wonderful possibility of open hearts and big spirits making room for hopefulness in the face of despair.  I am really grateful to be going.

On the eve of our election at home, with the possibility of a new direction, I can only hope that I can witness signs of a new direction in the Middle East.  It has been most illuminating to get some background on the situation with the recommended reading.  I pass along my praise for two books especially: “The Lemon Tree” by Sandy Tolan and “Healing Israel/Palestine” by Rabbi Michael Lerner.  Please read them if you can. They are both extremely well written and easy to read, but the truths revealed are not so easy to integrate.

It is difficult to look at our past actions, both personal and cultural, with dispassion. It is a challenge to dispel myths and beliefs that justify actions. To see where we have been silent or to wonder if we would have been, in more difficult times, is disquieting.  And to hold a place of compassion for “the other”, that is so hard.  Yet these things are necessary for us to move forward, as a global community, to a place where peace and justice prevail.

Michael Lerner says,” Political arrangements cannot be trusted until there is a serious commitment on both sides to compassionate listening to each other. It is only when both sides can tell the other side’s story with compassion and conviction, and both sides recognize that in some important respects both sides are wrong and both sides are right, that we can hope to move to a real reconciliation of the heart.  All the fancy agreements all the political maneuvering is secondary to developing an open-heartedness and the generosity in both peoples to the legitimate need of the other.”

He says,” It is my firm belief that lasting peace and reconciliation are not only possible, but likely to be achieved in the next twenty years, and possibly sooner. The hunger for a world of caring and kindness is a more powerful force than the desire to hold onto anger and nurse old pains.  True, it will take the courage to forget- to not focus attention on all the wounds, all the disgraceful actions of the other….. It will take the discipline and hard work of a generation of healers (medical, psychological, and spiritual) and it will take a sustained challenge to the ethos of cynicism that pervades the media, intellectual life, and all too many religious institutions. But it will happen, and when it does, a new generation will look back on this period and say, “What could those people have been thinking?”

It is uncomfortable to review the thinking that has brought us to the place where we are now.  But it is very exciting and hopeful to imagine a new way of thinking and being. I know Compassionate Listening and opening the heart are keys. And I know I will have a chance to practice, learn, and grow on this coming journey.

Thanks for your support.  I am taking you with me.

Love,
Maria