Healing and More

Here is a selection of photos from the trip. I will be uploading the full Monty  in a few days but it is more pictures than anybody will want to see, although you can go back to this same link and browse around to see them if you want to. Enjoy this selection.

http://picasaweb.google.com/mariacook55/IsraelPalestineBlogSelection?pli=1&gsessionid=p-i9alORkBaihIlUNOzO3g#

Please check out the Compassionate Listening website for upcoming workshops- there is a local one on Bainbridge in Jan and several offerings in Seattle. Sign up for their email newsletter. And look for an article on the delegation in the Bainbridge Island Review on Wed, Nov 19 2008
http://www.compassionatelistening.org

The work that the project does in the Middle East is meaningful and touches many lives.  Our delegation was the 26th delegation, totally about 600 people that TCLP has brought to the Middle East. The people that we listened to were obviously moved and supported by our presence. TCLP together with participants also gave generous financial support to worthwhile projects including donating 3 computers. TCLP also does training work and has brought groups of Israelis and Palestinians together to learn compassionate listening skills in the context of peace work. Many of the people that we listened to had received training from the organization. These trainings ripple out into the culture and form a web of support for those who are working to move the conflict towards solution. Leah Green, founder and director, is a skilled facilitator and an excellent teacher. We benefited so much from her guidance and insight as well as from her co-leader Yael Petretti.. Its an enormous achievement to bring people to a conflict area and present a balanced perspective, to hold a mulitpartial view, and to give people from all along the political spectrum a sense of having been heard, acknowledged and cared about.

Thanks again for all the support,
Love,
Maria

We are winding down now and every moment is precious. The threat of imminent loss hangs in the air, so there is lots of hugging and gratitude.

As we give equal compassion to the Israeli and Palestinian side, we realize the need to separate personal bias from triggers and judgment due to old wounds or stories. Do we ask more questions of the Israelis, expect more of them, because they hold more power in this situation? I personally feel that with power, military and economic, comes responsibility, but everything is mixed up in the crazy land and each issue is very complex. One thing is clear, everyone is suffering from this conflict and there can be no comparison about the level of suffering. It is also clear that it is our human task to move beyond suffering to come to a place of compassion and acceptance. People are in varied places along the spectrum of that process and everyone deserves compassion, wherever they are at.

We had a final listening in our group session. We shared goodbyes for the amazing Susan who has enriched the trip so much. We listened to Shiri Barr, an Israeli peace worker who has been with us for much of the trip. She shared that, to be a peacemaker, you have to be ‘multipartial’, not impartial. For peace to come here, there has to be an acceptance that both peoples really belong here, both peoples have a connection to the land, both spiritual and historical. Many people don’t hold those beliefs.  To be a peacemaker takes being willing to see the whole picture, what am I doing wrong, what have I done right, what do I need to do now? Sherri is trying to start a Peace Ministry in the Israeli Government. The Ministry of Peace would be a tool; the issue is more to create a culture of peace. When asked if she had support within the government for the idea, she responded “Not yet” When asked if there was any interest at all she responded, “ Not yet”. I loved that. Someone else pounding a head against the wall the conflict has built. Shiri is a quiet powerful force.

We heard from Julia, our Palestinian American participant who has been transformed by the trip. She has let go so much. She shared that all her life she has struggled for acknowledgement and acceptance of the Palestinian story. Now she recognizes that Palestinians need, for their own healing and growth, to let go of the Naqba and the pain and bitterness that they live with. Her radiant, loving face is full of hope now.

On Sunday we met with Dahlia Landau, about whom the book, The Lemon Tree by Sandy Tolan, was written. She shared what has happened to Bashir, the Palestinian in the book. He is living in Ramallah, his children are in college, one at Harvard, and he is still politically active. She said that the party he belongs to has participated in terror. Her friendship with Bashir is based on 40 years of connection and transcends the difference in their political views. She can accept the person without accepting all of the behavior.  She feels that it is legitimate to disagree about your visions for the land; it is not legitimate to promote your vision with violence. She cannot support a one state solution, because she, similarly to Esther Golan, another Holocaust survivor who we met with, feels that it would be suicide for Jews. Jews need a state of their own for security and need an active military to maintain that state.  She recognizes that the exclusion of Arabs is discriminatory; she sees it as a positive discrimination, based on the model of affirmative action. For her this holy land holds symbols for humanity and a visit here is bound to be an inner journey and not just about politics. What happens here has symbolic significance.

Dahlia is a humanitarian and a lover of people and culture. She smuggles herself into the West Bank to enjoy the Palestinian people. She recognizes the danger in this and it is her great grief that she is legally separated from a whole part of this land and some of its people.

With the blessings of both families (her Jewish refugee family from Bulgaria who lived in the home and Bashir’s Arab family who built the home and were expelled during the war of 1948,) Dahlia opened Open House in the home in 1991. “The house, the town, the country have given birth to both of us, like a root going down, it can be transformed into a destiny.” The house is now a daycare center for Arab children and a center for Palestinian and Israeli co-existence. There currently are 30 children in the program, which provides important economic benefits to women who must work to improve their condition.  Dahlia’s work with this center is so inspiring and so important.  We all dug deep into our pockets to give. www.friendsofopenhouse.org

Dahlia was our final listening session, and what a note to close on.  A very thoughtful person, she had many insights into the conflict and life in Israel.  She said, “ Any decision a person makes after reflection, which represents a real choice, is a decision that can be respected.” She would like the State of Israel to be a place that generates love and intelligent insight.  She is a person of great love and great insight.  She represents great hope for Israel.

My trip home was blessed with grace. Traveling to the airport with Phil and Amy, Diane, Linda, Laurie and Maggie was a sweet extension of our trip. Some of my favorite times had been the after hours celebration with this group and a few others in the bar, out on the patio, or wherever we could share wine and lots of laughter. Traveling on the flight with Diane and Patti was a real gift. To have some understanding as we began reentry saved me.  I watched Mama Mia on both legs of my trip and that was such a perfect counter point to the delegation- a celebration of love and life in song and dance!  Coming home to a sunny day in Seattle and finding my friend on the ferry was serendipitous. It’s not easy to shift gears and reenter the Land of Mundania. Thanks again to all who have supported me on my journey.  I think that we, as a delegation, gave a lot of support to peacemakers. I hope that all of us can shine the light of love out into the world, whatever our opportunities.

This blog has many omissions and many inaccuracies for which I apologize.  I am hopeful that you the reader can get a feel for our delegation.  It was a very full time, so rich! I am so grateful to you for reading my story and hope you have enjoyed it.

love,

Maria

Friday morning we left the beautiful Ohalo Manor at Kibbutz Kinneret where we had enjoyed stunning views of the Sea of Galilee and way too much fabulous food. We drove north along the west side of the sea past acres of cultivated land, beautiful rich producing fields, then up into the hills. We wound our way up until we came to the village of Shibli at the foot of Mt Tabor. We met with Aida Shibli at the Bedouin Heritage Center and she told us about her life. A very unusual woman, Aida was divorced and is a single parent. She said that life had been good around the Sea of Galilee but during the Intifada of 2000, 13 people, including a young boy, were killed near her. After that, nationalistic feeling began to grow. It shook people’s belief in the possibility of coexistence. Her father ran a nursery and people would come and argue politics. The situation challenged the Bedouin talent of bringing people together. It was her father’s dream to have a place to present the Bedouin heritage, which would not identify with either side, but would be a place where people could celebrate their identities. The Bedouin center that the family created is a huge tent like building, with low tables and pillows on the floor. In the Bedouin culture, you all sit down all at the same level, with your feet on the earth. Aida believes that the minute you show yourself, and share your truth, this truth will touch the other. You have to let go of changing the other.

Aida’s life story is another demonstration of the human capacity for transforming, anger, bitterness, and fear into hope, acceptance, love, and peace through the process of self-awareness. She talked about looking to the inner occupation, where we are stuck in the way we perceive things with judgment. She shared her view that it is a human tendency to want to be a victim; it is easier than focusing on working towards the future. As a victim, you can get sympathy; you can remain innocent, blame others, and you don’t have to do the hard work of looking at yourself deeply and accepting your own shadow side. In a conflict, both sides must give up their victimhood and forbear comparing the level of their pain and suffering. She had been a peace fighter, an activist, now she saw that there could be no fighting for peace, you have to work towards it and give up fighting and pushing against things. She feels that modern life creates war, our busyness and consumerism creates violence, not peace.

She had her own personal story of having transformed her anger and bitterness and she has the challenge of belonging to a people who have been very impacted. Only 250 Bedouins out of a tribe of 12,000 survived the war in 1948.

She is shining light. She focuses on peace work, spending time at a peace camp in Portugal called Tamira. She talked so much about her philosophy, sharing her wisdom. She feels that trust, transparency, and love are all necessary for peace to emerge. She plans to found a community where Israeli’s and Palestinians can coexist. The first stage, an experimental community at Tamira, is being planned. After spending a morning with this angel, I feel reassured that the boundaries of human limitations are being expanded. www.mytavor.com

We drove from Shibli to Haifa and met with two men who had lost children in a suicide bus bombing in 2003. We met at the cemetery and it was so sad to feel their grief. They have been very active in creative ways to keep the memories of their children alive, to learn to cope with their grief, and to provide greater security for Israel. www.Blondi.co.il

We returned to Jerusalem for the night and met in the evening to talk about judgments. We are all so vulnerable to our thoughts. It is a huge and constant process to follow a judgment down inside us to some unmet need or unrecognized value. I am so humbled by those who have done this work in the face of huge pain and loss.

In Tel Aviv we met with Norma Musih of the Israeli organization Zochrot (“Remembering”,) that works to raise awareness of the Naqba, the Palestinian catastrophe of 1948 ( what the Israelis consider the War of Indepence.) Norma is another angel; another being who has transformed pain, fear and doubt into a clarity of vision where she is sure that truth is necessary for peace. She believes that it will heal the Israeli soul if they take responsibility for the seizures of land and the destruction of villages that took place during the War of Independence. Currently much of the Israeli society refuses to believe that wrong was done. The Palestinian refugees are wounded that no acknowledgement of wrongdoing or apology has ever been made. There are 5-6 million Palestinian refugees and 1 out of 3 refugees in the world are Palestinians. 20% of the Palestinians in Israel are refugees. This means that they have lost their homes and land, were never compensated and are not permitted to return to their homes.

Zochrot is an amazing organization and goes about the very difficult work of consciousness raising in many creative ways. They sponsored a photographic project working with a French photographer who took photographs of refugees from Lebanon and took pictures of the photographs at the site of their home and brought them back to the refugees. They also do gatherings with a large map and have participants put a marker with the name of a destroyed village back on the site of the village and speak to the group about why they chose that village. The stories that emerge are moving, and a source of healing. Zochrot is an educational organization and produces curriculum that has not existed about the Naqba, so that teachers can introduce it into schools.

The organization talks about and accepts the Right of Return (the right of refugees to return to their homes as mandated by the UN). This is very threatening to the mainstream Israeli population. Jews have a fear of being thrown into the sea and fear an Arab influx. The politics of Israel are built on an ‘us or them’, ‘friend or enemy ‘mentality. The State can’t be both Jewish and democratic. No one is speaking about how the Right of Return could be implemented in practical ways, because the mere thought of it is too threatening. But there will be no peace until there is acknowledgement. There could be practical solutions, and the organization has written a proposal that includes a ban on expelling anyone from their homes so as not to create any new refugees. The Right of Return calls for broad social change and change is dangerous. However, according to Norma, it is more dangerous to continue on the current course. She was very clear that it is to uplift the Israeli mentality that she is impassioned by this work. To have real peace and reconciliation, the Naqba must be acknowledged. www.zochrot.org

And we hear stories and they become us and we become them. I am so full. I left the group in Jaffa and went on my own to the beach. My religion is the sea. We take what we are and what we have heard, the suffering and the joy, and we plunge into the ocean to be washed clean, to be deepened, to share ourselves with our source that we may have more capacity. I floated in the warm blue ocean for an hour, felt my feet on the soft sand, the sun warm on my skin and I knew who I was again. I am the man who lost his child to the terrorist attack. I am the bomber, so hopeless. I am the Palestinian mother who loves her sons. I am the Israeli who fears for his survival. I am the leader who must decide and I am the lover of life who relishes pleasure and home and the sweet scents of the garden. I am so much, so I swim it all out into the sea where it can join with rivers of tears that have washed down, carving away at the mountains of silence. I am so much. I stand on the earth and feel it all flow down down deep into the roots of creation to be healed. I am so much that I have my heart cracked open so that what I am rushes out and joins with the heart of the world. I am so much that I have to let it all soar into the sky to be transformed and broken into bits to drop back down like rays of sun to light up what needs to be seen. And I do this for the joy of it. I do this because of the love that it brings me. I do this because it is a miracle that we are here, alive in this time, with this chance to be so much.

And I feel the guiding hearts of the human angels who lead the way and I can reach back and offer my hand in service to those who are looking for help. And I just keep going, despite doubts about myself and my own worth, and about humanity and it’s limitations. I just keep going.

Yes we can! We went to Ramallah, driving through checkpoints. We were waved through, our American passports and tourist status giving us a free pass. We listened to members of the Palestinian Democratic Union, a third party offering an alternative to Hamas and Fatah. A woman is deputy chairman and the party offers equal rights to women. The speakers were impassioned with dedication to the possibility of a new nation founded on democratic principles. I sang to them…”If every woman, from every nation, young or old, each generation, holds her hand out in the name of love, there will be no more war.” The young woman spoke of how students suffer with the checkpoints. Again it was a mixed story of suffering, dedication and hope.

The next day we went up to the Golan Heights and listened to a settler. Equal passion, and again the suffering. She spoke of her life and the wars in Israel, making a home and putting down roots so that the Jewish people could have a home in this ancient land. Her love of the land was in her bones, in her blood, deep in the history of her people. She feels like the stories of the Bible took place in her back yard. She had so many stories to share about her struggle for Israel and the ever-present fear of enemies wanting to annihilate the Jewish people.

Our speakers in the evening were Jews for the Creativity for Peace Camp, a camp for Israeli and Palestinian girls in New Mexico. The director and two girls spoke and it was wonderful to hear about the transformative capacity of the peace camp, bringing youth of both sides together. The work they do is hard, deep, sad, and hopeful. The girls form deep bonds and confront many challenges to cross lines. The hardest part for them is coming home, back to a culture that doesn’t understand, cultures that hold onto grievances and separation. We can only offer blessings and support and wish them well. They manage this tremendous work by private donations only. It’s amazing and wonderful what they accomplish: creativityforpeace.com

Our group is deepening. We have huge appreciation for each other and for the gift of this trip and this process. We struggled tonight with ourselves, trying to grasp the subtlety of the effect of our questions and responses on the people we listen to. How can we be there for people that we disagree with, how can we help them to deepen into their story and open their hearts to new possibilities without putting our own agendas, preconceived notions, and ideas of what is right into the mix. Compassionate Listening is a spiritual practice and so we practice.

After our group session we meet on the terrace overlooking the Sea of Galilee for wine and beer and more debriefing. Laughter, gratitude, and humility are the order of the day. This land is ancient, this conflict complex, humanity is mysterious. We can only hope, love, and offer compassion. We are here to witness and we are changed by what we see. We are deeply in love with each other, with this land, and with the people that we meet. Life is offering us opportunities to explore all that love means, accepting the unacceptable, asking the unaskable, forgiving the unforgivable, and holding a vision for humanity that we can become even more loving and find some peace. Our hope is that we can find love where there has been only fear, that we can watch fear transform into love, that we can help those who are ready find their way to peace and shine a light on that possibility for others to see.

We drove to the far side of Hebron, deep into the southwest sector of the West Bank, an area where extremists on both sides make their home. The Jewish settlements are outposts and Hamas has many members in the region. We visited an Israeli Jew from America- an artist, a hippie from the 60s, a recent widow. She lived in a small home on the edge of the settlement with a view of a military base and a big security fence. She spoke about using her art for healing work, to make the world a better place, to bring people together through art.

She told stories about near misses for her family where they had been exposed to suicide bombers and could have been killed. She spoke about the tension of life in Israel, a constant cloud of concern and fear. She told us that it was almost a vacation, almost like relief, to be with her daughter in a cancer treatment center in the middle of winter in New England, just to have a break from Israel! But it is her home, she loves it, she has family here, and it is the best place to do her art. She moved to the settlement originally for cheap housing, not for ideological reasons. She travels the long road to Jerusalem frequently to visit her family. She used to wear a bulletproof vest. She won’t stop at the wonderful fruit stands for fear of a bombing. We listened and listened as she shared her biggest grief, the loss of her husband and partner to cancer. www.judithmargolis.com

We went to Hope Flower’s School in the morning and what an inspiring uplifting experience. It was started years ago by a man who became a close friend of the Earth Steward’s Network, an organization based in Bainbridge Island. The school is dedicated to the educating kids about peace. They have developed a peace curriculum, which they are finding ways to share with other schools around the world. Ibrahim, the son, now directs the school, along with his sister. A soft-spoken man trained as an engineer in Holland- that he spent a year in an Israeli prison seems such an absurdity as he is so obviously so sweet and gentle. The school works with whole families as well as with children and also does outreach in the community. At this time they have about 300 students, Muslims, Christians and other faiths, and they hope someday to include Jewish students. They focus on teaching the many aspects of peace building, so needed in this society. We left feeling so hopeful and inspired, in awe of the dedication of the directors and staff. Visit their website: www.hopeflowersschool.org

Everywhere we go we leave donations and support as well as giving people the certainty that they are cared about, that their work is appreciated, and that there is support for them. I am spreading around the contributions that I received.

Our visit to Hebron was interesting. It is a place often in the news- there is ongoing conflict there. As a city it is more religious and conservative. Although firmly in the West Bank, there is a settlement of about 400 Jews in the center of the Old City and a big Israeli military presence. There are abandoned Arab homes in and around this Jewish sector. There are places that Palestinians are forbidden to go and other areas where a divider separates the road and the Palestinians must walk on one side. The checkpoint to get in and out of the Jewish sector was intense as we had our lovely Bonnie with us on her scooter. We had to break the scooter down into pieces and carry it through the turnstile. Then Bonnie came walking through with her canes- to our big cheers. Our own challenges are nothing compared with what the Palestinians face daily. Before leaving the Jewish sector we viewed the tomb of Abraham, a hugely important religious site to both Jews and Muslims. We went to the settler’s museum, commemorating the Jewish massacre of 1929. For ages Jews and Arabs had lived peacefully side-by-side as neighbors in Hebron. 60 Jews were killed in the terrible massacre and many wounded. The survivors were moved away. Jews did not return until Hebron was liberated (as it was described at the museum) in 1967. The reality of anti-Semitism is an ever present specter haunting the Jewish mentality, and affecting all of us.

There is no longer a sense of neighborliness. The remaining Arabs in the Jewish sector have built cages around their terraces to protect themselves from stones. Soldiers will kick open doors and come into the houses of Arabs living in the old city, threatening the inhabitants. We visited a family in their home, on the edge of the road that the settlers and military use, which is forbidden to Palestinian cars. The family owns the whole apartment building, maybe 6 stories tall. All the other tenants have fled, as there has been rock throwing and shooting into their apartments by the Israeli military. The army occupied the top floor to take advantage of the view over the entire city. They trashed it so totally, smashing everything and turning all the valuable possessions into rubble. It is riddled with bullet holes and broken glass and trash. My stomach turned. The elderly mom can’t bear to leave her home. Two of her daughters, a dentist and a teacher, and two grandchildren won’t leave her. And so they live on in a war zone. Her husband died of a broken heart. So sad!!!!

We all spent the night in groups of two, sleeping in Palestinian homes. What a wonderful experience! Everyone came back with stories to tell. My time was delightful. I was with young Cathy, 24, who is so sweet. The children of our family fell in love with her and we all hung out, played, danced and relaxed. The teenage girl watched Desperate Housewives and has learned excellent English from watching movies. It was so darn normal, just a family wanting a life. The Dad likes to watch CNN and was so loving to his kids, the wife so sweet and hospitable, and the children so intrigued with us. We really felt at home. The Dad had spent 10 years in jail, where he learned English, Hebrew and German, after which he started a family.

All these people, ordinary in so many ways, caught up in this conflict that has lasted for so many years… We woke up in the morning to the news of Obamas’s election. What joy! Everyone we have seen all day is excited. There is renewed hope. Yes, we can!!!!

Congratulations to us!!!! Perhaps we all have a future that we can look forward to.